Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Baby still kickin'

As I write this, there's a little foot pushing under the ribs. Kicking it back, it seems.

What's really pretty marvellous is to have come this far along, to feel just on the verge of, "Yes, OK! Bring it on," but to have nothing to do, really, but wait. Nature and baby will take their own course and will join us when they think is best.

There is something humbling in this. Something that continues to be larger than us, that will decide on its own when baby enters the world. Just as I can't will my heart to beat but need to trust that it knows its role and is best suited for it, so too I can't will this baby out. Instead I trust that it will come when ready. My singular role is to abandon any illusions of control.

Funny too talk of the relativity of time. Can days and weeks feel any longer than waiting to birth a child?

Apart from all this, things are well on this end. Rainy and cold autumn so I've snuggled up with Margaret Atwood's "Cat's Eye", a cup of tea and some letter writing. I may even push myself to wipe down the washroom and vacuum. Domestic bliss.

Much love to folks out there. We'll obviously keep you posted.

- M


Charles Gramlich said...

Hurry up and wait eh?

Carrie Ellis said...

" ...abandon any illusions of control" That is one tough pill to swallow!